Beyond the Rescue Triangle ~ Part 2
Posted March 22, 2013on:
Rescuer – if you’re primarily a rescuer you’ll want to start noticing when you are:
- More invested or doing more to solve the other person’s problem than they are; – Giving more than you want to and feeling drained;
- Feeling self-righteous, comparing and glad you’re not “as hopeless a case” as _____ is;
- Feeling guilty for not giving more, not wanting to continue to participate, etc.
Victim – if you’re a victim you’ll want to begin to notice when you are:
- Loving the attention of the Rescuer and answering suggestions with “Yeah, but…” or “I would, but…”
- Continually identifying yourself as unable, flawed, helpless or undeserving;
- Pouring your heart out to others to get their help or sympathy;
- Perpetuating destructive relationships or situations in your life.
Persecutor – If you’re involved in the Rescue Triangle, when you hit the wall within your “role” you become enraged and occupy the role of Persecutor for a time. But some people live in this role. They are just mad at everyone all the time. They think everyone is inadequate, incompetent or “in my way”. They characterize everyone as being “less than them” or somehow deserving of their wrath.
Persecutors need to get conscious about who or what they are really mad at and heal that wound. Often they have been on the receiving end of persecution and decided it’s safer to be a perpetrator – rage is hiding their deep fear and distrust in the world.
You see, each position on the Rescue Triangle is based in a feeling of inadequacy and a lack of wholeness.
If I am whole and love myself, I don’t have to create relationships where I’m either inadequate or “the advisor”. I can exchange ideas and learn from others without being either one up or one down. Which brings us to:
All Healing Comes from Self Love
To be continued!
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